Halloween @ Seri Carcosa

I was invited to a party last Friday without knowing the promoters behind the party until I actually arrive the venue. It was a wicked party by Carlsberg and Jägermeister.

That's me downing the "J" tube.

I myself dressed up as a Chinese "Keung Si" seems to picked up quite abit of attention, however me being me just took pictures with whoever that comes requesting for a picture. No contacts were exchange as I wasn't there to hunt down for girls. I was there solely for the fun of having friends to company me and drink. I must say I enjoy the beer much and the J tubes were horrible. There were abundant opportunities to know people especially in such a party environment but I must be out of my mind not to and I have no idea why.

Anyway fast forward, we were hanging around at a corner drinking and just enjoying the scene until I was knocked out and I seriously passed out. The next thing I knew I woke up in the morning in my friend's couch. I tried to recall what happened but it was just to vague and the last thing I remember was I fell down somewhere knocking down some plastic drums.

This is probably the ugliest scene in my life and I hope kids would drink responsibly. Special thanks to Arthur and Teck Ming for extending the service as chauffeur and carried me back to shelter.

The X factor

Have you ever wonder what is a X factor? The reason it is called X factor is plain simple. Nobody knows what is that factor but yet everyone knows there is that special influencing factor.

It applies to everything that requires us to choose something or someone over another. I'm a pragmatic person and I made decision based on factors that I could determine before I consider any other "invisible" elements.

What I totally dislike in my current position in life is that I could not find a missing element in life at this juncture. Something is missing...

I believe I will embark on a costly journey to search for the X factor as I need to prioritise inwards before I could move on to the next phase of contributing outwards.

Quote for the day:

"You got to close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall."

The quote reminds me of my days in NZ prior to my decision to take up bungee. I took that step to accomplish something that I wanted to do once in a lifetime. Just like many other decisions in life, we sometimes need to be make a bold step to discover the magical feeling resulted from it.

Halt

Some closer friends might know that I do have a partner over the past six months. She was a friend whom I've known for more than 8 years. We started out fine until we had more and more disagreements which I think it is normal course in a relationship. So to cut the story short, the wonderful days were over and we just had to call it off not because we hate each other but because we can't compromise on certain things such as petty issues which I find it totally negligible turn out to be the biggest point of argument for her.

Not withstanding the diffrence in view point we end it peacefully. Despite the fact that I do feel sad, I still choose not to waste time because to me every second counts and I prefer to make full use of it in doing something more meaningful than deleting pictures (searching them in the first place).

I still wish her all the best in life and of course I must say she is a very nice person, it is a waste that we parted in different ways. I pray that the Lord will touch new lives through me and will continue to bless her abundantly.

Cobwebs

Took a couple of minutes before I kickstart at work. I'm back to this familiar space of mine to revive this place with an entry.

I have been really busy this year with work but still manage to squeeze some time out to make a couple of short retreat with friends. I can wait to share one of my near death experience on my recent trip to Phuket, Thailand.

Unfortunately I do not have much time to spend here especially when I'm on my workstation with email notifications constantly popping out at the corner of the screen. Guess I'll have to leave the Phuket story till my next entry.

Have a blessed day everybody.

Halt

Someone pulled the handbrakes and the cart would have to simply come to a standstill. The journey came to an end with friendship being built then knocked down later on. I have no comments over the last couple of weeks. I was chasing after my career and at the same time leaving all else to God's will.

I also know that my blog is the main culprit and killer, not the first time. I still remember back then when a friend of mine in Oz had me as a shelter/rebound before embarking on a new relationship. I felt like I'm doing charity being a temporary comfort to those seeking a pillar to lean on.

Well alas nothing was achieved but another life lesson learned. Never hand out your sincerity unless it is proven to be worth it. To end this it has to be the famous quote: Giving up doesn't mean you are weak, sometimes it just mean you are strong enough to let go.

Perspective

Just postponed my meeting as I had this uneasy feeling and I couldn't focus on selling my ideas. On this rainy night, some might have misunderstood the entire perspective of my previous post. I've always think that a blog should be read in the author's perspective and not the reader's perspective. This is also my main reason of keeping this blog to myself and not shared among friends or relatives.

It is utterly idiotic to make assumptions and start pointing fingers without really understanding the points which formed the entry. I wasn't making any comparison, complaining or pin-pointing anyone. It is merely for the sake of putting pieces of thoughts together like mosaic to form a related story.

Well, I must say this was a tragic incident where words were twisted and taken personal. It wasn't intentional but I realized the damage was done after a short conversation over the phone. To be honest, past should be be left as it is and not brought up. I am not interested in knowing the history be it good or bad. What matter is really the future, however with some stumbling blocks and insufficient understanding it is hard to actually build a bond between two mankind. It requires both to think in accord and of course mutual understanding.

Unfortunately things weren't smooth as of now with various component mismatching. I would like to sincerely apologise should there be any unpleasant word or examples given but on the other hand I would like to share my 2 cents that this is merely my point of view looking forward and therefore from a third party view it will be an obvious bias inclination in taking positions or sides.

-there is always two sides of a story-

Something for Post-it Note

Pain makes you stronger,

Fear maker you braver,

Heartbreak makes you wiser.

Black Hole

I have a feeling I am approaching a black hole, something that everyone talks about but yet no one knows what is inside a black hole. I've never felt like this for a very long time. The uncertain feeling is creepy.

I'm often overseeing and in a clear state of mind that what I'm getting myself into but this time I sorta went a lil too far as if I'm walking in a mine field blind folded. This is seriously giving me cold feet. I hate to get myself involved in situation like this where by I can't gauge an outcome at all.

Well and what did the old folks say? I should really be just working and spending time with family and friends just like what I did post the previous relationship a.k.a. "The disaster". Back to where I was, so this mind bogging situation started when I realised that there are some pretty wicked history similar but not comparable to what I've gone through. Now knowing that I am pretty good at forgiving (ie: being a sucker), I think I have a large tendency to get myself into trouble again.

It is not about having a bad past because I believe some could escape and eventually find new life. Some continue to abuse it as if everyone else is just part of the game and can be used as a tool to achieve their satisfaction. After surviving my previous disaster I could probably be a guru at teaching people how to spot a cheater. Alright jokes aside, the reason I'm writing this is because I am again considering to build a relationship concurrently as I build my career hence commitment level is high and a lot of mutual understanding is required. Knowing the fact that I require heaps of attention and security I doubt I could find anyone that fits in the picture hence I made a vow to stay single and enjoy life to the fullest and report to no one except maybe my Saviour, Lord.

In terms of statistics I might be lucky to experienced disastrous partner(s) which I've treated them as soul mate (just like what you read in fairy tales "happily ever after") but in actual fact you wished you were never born when you realised you have to wear that gigantic "green" hat. So now as I continue to journey through this young adult life, should I pursue to take a peek in the black hole or should I just avoid, knowing that nothing will survive in it?

"Trust must be earned"