Happy upkeeping people.
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Spiritual upkeep
I'm not sure about others but I do read the bible when I'm free. It gives you lots of inspiration an answers to life. Just to share some simplified, modern bible comic.
Happy upkeeping people.
Happy upkeeping people.
Daddy
One day there is this kid shouting out loudly calling his dad.
Kid: Daddy! Daddy!
The father came over answering and gave the kid a hug.
The neighbour saw the kid shouting Daddy and the kid's father answering.
He quickly came over and tell the neighbour off.
Neighbour: Your son cannot call you Daddy!
Kid's Dad : Why?
Neighbour: Because my son calls me Daddy.
Kid's Dad : So, what is the problem with my son calling me Daddy.
Neighbour: You're confusing my son.
Kid's Dad : .......
Anyone get the story?
So don't you find it ridiculous when I call my God "Allah" and you call your God "Allah", now you want to ban us from calling our God "Allah" because it confused you. Just to voice out what is going on in our "Harmony" multi-racial country.
Kid: Daddy! Daddy!
The father came over answering and gave the kid a hug.
The neighbour saw the kid shouting Daddy and the kid's father answering.
He quickly came over and tell the neighbour off.
Neighbour: Your son cannot call you Daddy!
Kid's Dad : Why?
Neighbour: Because my son calls me Daddy.
Kid's Dad : So, what is the problem with my son calling me Daddy.
Neighbour: You're confusing my son.
Kid's Dad : .......
Anyone get the story?
So don't you find it ridiculous when I call my God "Allah" and you call your God "Allah", now you want to ban us from calling our God "Allah" because it confused you. Just to voice out what is going on in our "Harmony" multi-racial country.
A prayer for the stressed
Grant me the serenity to accept things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i cannot accept, and the wisdom to ignore/revenge the people that got on my nerves today.
Also help me to becareful of the toes i step on today, as they may be connected to the feet that i might need to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always work at 100%:
15% on Monday
20% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday
Last but not least help me to remember that people who do not appreciate me is not worth being treated too well. Let me understand people around me and avoid falling into traps.
Awesome Lord, Amen.
Also help me to becareful of the toes i step on today, as they may be connected to the feet that i might need to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always work at 100%:
15% on Monday
20% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday
Last but not least help me to remember that people who do not appreciate me is not worth being treated too well. Let me understand people around me and avoid falling into traps.
Awesome Lord, Amen.
Boiling Books
To my dear friends sitting for their exams today, I sincerely wish you guys all the best. I know you guys worked really hard just to make it on a higher stand in this asian grading system below:
Study hard, study smart!
Study hard, study smart!
Atheist Vs Christian
One day, an old Christian lady sat in the corner of the bus reading her Bible.
An Atheist then approached her and ask her, " do you really believe what you're reading?"
The old lady replied, "yes, i do. If the Bible says it is so, then it is true."
The atheist then laughed and sad " do you really believe that the 3 men who was thrown into fire did'nt get burnt and survive? how could have they survived?"
Again the old lady replied, "i do not know. but when i go to heaven, i will ask them."
The atheist then said confidently, "what if they are in hell?"
The old lady then said "THEN YOU ASK THEM LAH!".
-I hope you guys enjoy the joke-
An Atheist then approached her and ask her, " do you really believe what you're reading?"
The old lady replied, "yes, i do. If the Bible says it is so, then it is true."
The atheist then laughed and sad " do you really believe that the 3 men who was thrown into fire did'nt get burnt and survive? how could have they survived?"
Again the old lady replied, "i do not know. but when i go to heaven, i will ask them."
The atheist then said confidently, "what if they are in hell?"
The old lady then said "THEN YOU ASK THEM LAH!".
-I hope you guys enjoy the joke-
1 Malaysia
In accordance to the 1 Malaysia plan, I've decided to post something that I never expected myself to do. I'm going to write in Malay with my limited vocab, so here it goes:
Dalam office yang sangat sejuk, tiba-tiba saya ada craving untuk makan Nasi Lemak. Saya sentiasa pass-by satu stall yang menjual Nasi Lemak semasa datang ke kerja. Saya dah lama tidak makan Nasi Lemak. Stall yang menjual Nasi Lemak itu ialah stall illegal tetapi business dia baik, banyak orang akan bungkus Nasi Lemak dan bawa ke office makan.
Saya tidak tahu sekarang Air Asia boleh check in online. GM saya sudah bantu saya check in dan unfortunately saya akan duduk di tengah colleague saya dan GM saya. Memang tak berapa suka kerana saya nak duduk sendiri di aisle seat atau di sebelah window.
Hopefully trip ini saya akan dapat membawa pulang alcohol untuk collection saya. Saya ingin memohon maaf atas inconvenience caused kerana bahasa melayu saya tidak baik.
1 Malaysia just won't work for me, tuition anyone?
Dalam office yang sangat sejuk, tiba-tiba saya ada craving untuk makan Nasi Lemak. Saya sentiasa pass-by satu stall yang menjual Nasi Lemak semasa datang ke kerja. Saya dah lama tidak makan Nasi Lemak. Stall yang menjual Nasi Lemak itu ialah stall illegal tetapi business dia baik, banyak orang akan bungkus Nasi Lemak dan bawa ke office makan.
Saya tidak tahu sekarang Air Asia boleh check in online. GM saya sudah bantu saya check in dan unfortunately saya akan duduk di tengah colleague saya dan GM saya. Memang tak berapa suka kerana saya nak duduk sendiri di aisle seat atau di sebelah window.
Hopefully trip ini saya akan dapat membawa pulang alcohol untuk collection saya. Saya ingin memohon maaf atas inconvenience caused kerana bahasa melayu saya tidak baik.
1 Malaysia just won't work for me, tuition anyone?
I like your thinking
A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone..'
To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
Hope this put a smile on readers.
She calls on little Ralphy.
He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.'
The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'
Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?'
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone..'
To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'
Hope this put a smile on readers.
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