Halloween @ Seri Carcosa

I was invited to a party last Friday without knowing the promoters behind the party until I actually arrive the venue. It was a wicked party by Carlsberg and Jägermeister.

That's me downing the "J" tube.

I myself dressed up as a Chinese "Keung Si" seems to picked up quite abit of attention, however me being me just took pictures with whoever that comes requesting for a picture. No contacts were exchange as I wasn't there to hunt down for girls. I was there solely for the fun of having friends to company me and drink. I must say I enjoy the beer much and the J tubes were horrible. There were abundant opportunities to know people especially in such a party environment but I must be out of my mind not to and I have no idea why.

Anyway fast forward, we were hanging around at a corner drinking and just enjoying the scene until I was knocked out and I seriously passed out. The next thing I knew I woke up in the morning in my friend's couch. I tried to recall what happened but it was just to vague and the last thing I remember was I fell down somewhere knocking down some plastic drums.

This is probably the ugliest scene in my life and I hope kids would drink responsibly. Special thanks to Arthur and Teck Ming for extending the service as chauffeur and carried me back to shelter.

The X factor

Have you ever wonder what is a X factor? The reason it is called X factor is plain simple. Nobody knows what is that factor but yet everyone knows there is that special influencing factor.

It applies to everything that requires us to choose something or someone over another. I'm a pragmatic person and I made decision based on factors that I could determine before I consider any other "invisible" elements.

What I totally dislike in my current position in life is that I could not find a missing element in life at this juncture. Something is missing...

I believe I will embark on a costly journey to search for the X factor as I need to prioritise inwards before I could move on to the next phase of contributing outwards.

Quote for the day:

"You got to close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall."

The quote reminds me of my days in NZ prior to my decision to take up bungee. I took that step to accomplish something that I wanted to do once in a lifetime. Just like many other decisions in life, we sometimes need to be make a bold step to discover the magical feeling resulted from it.

Halt

Some closer friends might know that I do have a partner over the past six months. She was a friend whom I've known for more than 8 years. We started out fine until we had more and more disagreements which I think it is normal course in a relationship. So to cut the story short, the wonderful days were over and we just had to call it off not because we hate each other but because we can't compromise on certain things such as petty issues which I find it totally negligible turn out to be the biggest point of argument for her.

Not withstanding the diffrence in view point we end it peacefully. Despite the fact that I do feel sad, I still choose not to waste time because to me every second counts and I prefer to make full use of it in doing something more meaningful than deleting pictures (searching them in the first place).

I still wish her all the best in life and of course I must say she is a very nice person, it is a waste that we parted in different ways. I pray that the Lord will touch new lives through me and will continue to bless her abundantly.

Cobwebs

Took a couple of minutes before I kickstart at work. I'm back to this familiar space of mine to revive this place with an entry.

I have been really busy this year with work but still manage to squeeze some time out to make a couple of short retreat with friends. I can wait to share one of my near death experience on my recent trip to Phuket, Thailand.

Unfortunately I do not have much time to spend here especially when I'm on my workstation with email notifications constantly popping out at the corner of the screen. Guess I'll have to leave the Phuket story till my next entry.

Have a blessed day everybody.

Halt

Someone pulled the handbrakes and the cart would have to simply come to a standstill. The journey came to an end with friendship being built then knocked down later on. I have no comments over the last couple of weeks. I was chasing after my career and at the same time leaving all else to God's will.

I also know that my blog is the main culprit and killer, not the first time. I still remember back then when a friend of mine in Oz had me as a shelter/rebound before embarking on a new relationship. I felt like I'm doing charity being a temporary comfort to those seeking a pillar to lean on.

Well alas nothing was achieved but another life lesson learned. Never hand out your sincerity unless it is proven to be worth it. To end this it has to be the famous quote: Giving up doesn't mean you are weak, sometimes it just mean you are strong enough to let go.

Perspective

Just postponed my meeting as I had this uneasy feeling and I couldn't focus on selling my ideas. On this rainy night, some might have misunderstood the entire perspective of my previous post. I've always think that a blog should be read in the author's perspective and not the reader's perspective. This is also my main reason of keeping this blog to myself and not shared among friends or relatives.

It is utterly idiotic to make assumptions and start pointing fingers without really understanding the points which formed the entry. I wasn't making any comparison, complaining or pin-pointing anyone. It is merely for the sake of putting pieces of thoughts together like mosaic to form a related story.

Well, I must say this was a tragic incident where words were twisted and taken personal. It wasn't intentional but I realized the damage was done after a short conversation over the phone. To be honest, past should be be left as it is and not brought up. I am not interested in knowing the history be it good or bad. What matter is really the future, however with some stumbling blocks and insufficient understanding it is hard to actually build a bond between two mankind. It requires both to think in accord and of course mutual understanding.

Unfortunately things weren't smooth as of now with various component mismatching. I would like to sincerely apologise should there be any unpleasant word or examples given but on the other hand I would like to share my 2 cents that this is merely my point of view looking forward and therefore from a third party view it will be an obvious bias inclination in taking positions or sides.

-there is always two sides of a story-

Something for Post-it Note

Pain makes you stronger,

Fear maker you braver,

Heartbreak makes you wiser.

Black Hole

I have a feeling I am approaching a black hole, something that everyone talks about but yet no one knows what is inside a black hole. I've never felt like this for a very long time. The uncertain feeling is creepy.

I'm often overseeing and in a clear state of mind that what I'm getting myself into but this time I sorta went a lil too far as if I'm walking in a mine field blind folded. This is seriously giving me cold feet. I hate to get myself involved in situation like this where by I can't gauge an outcome at all.

Well and what did the old folks say? I should really be just working and spending time with family and friends just like what I did post the previous relationship a.k.a. "The disaster". Back to where I was, so this mind bogging situation started when I realised that there are some pretty wicked history similar but not comparable to what I've gone through. Now knowing that I am pretty good at forgiving (ie: being a sucker), I think I have a large tendency to get myself into trouble again.

It is not about having a bad past because I believe some could escape and eventually find new life. Some continue to abuse it as if everyone else is just part of the game and can be used as a tool to achieve their satisfaction. After surviving my previous disaster I could probably be a guru at teaching people how to spot a cheater. Alright jokes aside, the reason I'm writing this is because I am again considering to build a relationship concurrently as I build my career hence commitment level is high and a lot of mutual understanding is required. Knowing the fact that I require heaps of attention and security I doubt I could find anyone that fits in the picture hence I made a vow to stay single and enjoy life to the fullest and report to no one except maybe my Saviour, Lord.

In terms of statistics I might be lucky to experienced disastrous partner(s) which I've treated them as soul mate (just like what you read in fairy tales "happily ever after") but in actual fact you wished you were never born when you realised you have to wear that gigantic "green" hat. So now as I continue to journey through this young adult life, should I pursue to take a peek in the black hole or should I just avoid, knowing that nothing will survive in it?

"Trust must be earned"

寶貝

Humming this song and smiling as I work because I know someday I'll have you as my "寶貝".

Blessed Birthday

Dad, you're the greatest man I know in my entire life to raise me up till this day. I owe that to you and may the Lord continue to be with you and shelter you from evil. On your birthday I pray that blessings would shower upon you may your life be joyful everyday.

God bless you Pappa.

Fishing all day long

I'm extremely tired after my trip and I was literally dozing off every hour staring at my PC. This is my first day being a new born Christian and I am seriously not performing well. I really pray that I would be strong and persevere throughout the week. I've got heaps of work waiting for me to clear them off my log.

Besides just talking about stressful days that I've encounter. I would like to also touch on my gathering last night with my Uni mates. I've also brought along a friend to join the gang and I hope they blend in well. Afterall you get to know more about someone when you blend in with their circle of friends.

Prayer of the day

I've recently experience minimal amount of sleep, but I thank God for being able to bring me through the day. Just like how it should be in our daily life, in everything give thanks. Life is not an evergreen journey. Rough patches is almost inevitable but it is how we react towards it and surf through the problems in life.

As much as I recalled, I thought I was being punished so severely by God and I felt that I have been treated unfairly. No doubt life was never a fair game to start with but the God which I've been consistently cried out for actually allowed me to fall in a pitch black pit. I was in search for an answer but after spending quality time in my sanctuary, the house of God. I realised that sometimes God allocates the best in his eyes and not through mine. Knowing that my prayers continue daily, my deepest desires I commit and live a life of a single commoner.

My partner is someone whom I will love deeply foreva and I've made that promised to God that whoever is right is not important but make me the right person for someone else. That is the greatest sacrifice of all because I've put myself out to love just like how it should be. Since I have trained myself to be really patient in this matter, I'll wait and discover along the way on where I'll end up to.

My career life had a soar last year and new opportunities had been coming. Again I give praise for that. I just hope I could have enough to sponsor my family and the future spouse of mine a comfortable living. If God walks with me, there is really nothing I should be worried about.

Dear God, you've been an ever great God which stood by me, forgive my ignorance and sins. I thank you for all the blessings and may you continue to shower them upon people around me. Let me be the salt and light, the goodness overflows from the inside out. In your awesome name, Amen.

Tira-Miss-U

Last Saturday was simply awesome being able to catch up with this special friend of mine. Special in a way that the occasion that brough us to know each other and over such long period of time without actually seeing each other. Anyway the jizz of the outing was me being able to get to know my friend a little more over at one of my favourite restaurant in town. Alexis is the place and as usual i expect the highly demanded cake to run out. To be honest I felt like dancing in cloud 9 at a cozy place with a wonderful company.

Last Friday Night

I was all excited to start gaining momentum in life whereby I start to put myself out to test the waters. I was invited by my high school mates to crash over at their regular desk in Library. However what struck me was an unplanned dinner arrangement with a friend whom I've known for 8 years but yet to meet in person. I've enjoyed the time getting to know each other a little more, as anticipated we were both acting a little wierd because it was our first meeting. Later on we proceeded with the beer session and with no surprise I brought along my dinner buddy.

We had great fun as my high school mates were regular and we managed to get to know the band members which were performing that night. The night did not just end at where we were because someone has suggested that we crash a friend's b'day party over at Zouk. So we headed to Zouk partially hibernating. When we arrived it was around 10mins before 3am. The party is still going on and this is the place where men and women gel together and all the action happens. I was not spared in Zouk as I was trying to walk through the crowd in the dance floor I was being kidnapped by a random girl from a group of 6 girls and my wonderful buddies left me there. How the kidnapp scene happened? One girl grabbed my hand and pulled me right into the wall formed by the 6 semi-high ladies. So I just have to robot dance my way out, seriously I must admit, I was excited because it further confirms that hey if nobody wants me at least I was wanted for a moment in the crowd.

Me being me not interested in a come and go relationship decided not to even know them. So I guess they think I'm either gay or simply too arogant to even join them for some fun. That is basically all about last Friday night.

Dream loved by the Ants

I can still remember vividly the dream I had last night.

It was the best ever dream I had and that virtual image was locked in my head that I wished I do not have to wake up. There was an old saying that what you've always had in mind and constantly think about will often appear in your dreams because the brain is not fully at rest and the active ones will just puzzle up images that you've consistently imagined. I guess pretty bee must have been spinning round my head too much that a love story was playing during my sleep.

If only it was more than just a dream...

"Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous, there's really nothing to lose."

Future Marriages

Soon wedding will look like this...

Priest: Do you agree to change your FB status from single to married?

Guy: YES.
... ......
Girl: YES.
.
.
.

Priest: I now announce you husband & wife. You may poke the bride.

Work-Live-Learn-Play

Many times I was put into situation or rather my job has always been in situation where I play the puppet show between both my clienteles and my management. My job is to basically originate deals from thin air and try to make sure that something cooks up. Trapping in between the Bank and clients makes me a conduit acting as a channel to twist and turn in order to please both sides.

No doubt I love being a generalist originator so I won't limit myself in the Debt Capital Markets playground and I could even explore possible M&As or even trade deals. Afterall the bank value their employee simply from the figures brought in. As a Gen Y we often seek a balance lifestyle of work-live-learn-play. However in the real and cruel world hardly any firm would give you the room to take a break let alone play. As a Gen Y I do wish I could have a balance lifestyle but I do understand the rigid rules in life therefore I'm perfectly fine at this point of time being put into tough conditions and hopefully this mould a better me in the near future.

At this point besides saving there is just not much opportunity in life yet. I'm still trying to increase my personal equity in some investments and hopefully a property during the property bubble pop rumoured to be soon. I've only spotted properties that I can't yet afford but looking further I think a landed property seems to be a better bet for a no brainer investment.

As for now I'll just have to beef up and continue to be strong. Salary comes to the people who can perform best (assuming meritocracy takes place) and of course to pray for the best as a faithful child of God.

停

在忙碌的上班世界里，
我要得只是短短的几分钟，
停下来。

总是想念那期待着下班，匆匆忙忙赶回家的日子。。。全都是因为有个人让我特别的想念。

Post-BKK trip

I was amazed that this time around BKK I didn't shop much, In fact I just took the time to accompany my buddies and bringing them around since none of them have been to Bangkok and none actually plan the trip. So we just play by ear waking up every morning to decide where is our next destination.

I enjoyed this trip as I get to see the changes in Bangkok. Lumphini one of my favourite place in Bangkok has been torn down as they've closed down due to the maturity of their lease. Hopefully on my next trip they will reopen at a better location. Thailand is most likely experiencing high inflation as things were no longer cheap as compared to my spending last year. I can no longer get a bargain meal and the price haggling seems to be tougher.

Thats all for now as I have to follow up with a couple of deals in hand.

KUL-BKK

Tonight I'll be departing from KUL to my next destination BKK for a short getaway. I'm taking advantage of this festive holiday to catch up with my uni mates except this time we are meeting at a place that we are all not too familiar.