Over you

Dear "Darl", I must say its been such a wonderful experience that you've given me throughout these years. There are so many thing left unsaid and undone. We both grew in different ways, you grew apart wanting to break free from the relationship and I as usual still the same except I've learned my lesson in life. I see things in a more positive way. I care less in details regarding relationship. I'm glad that you've found your Mr. Right while I'm taking my sweet time in search of the one. I don't know how we got together but one reason is enough to be apart. I've always wanted to talk to you or even drop you a text but eventually didn't. I know it is just wrong to do it, even friends don't encourage it. Therefore it leads to this blog post.

Life is funny, it is like a game. I thought it is end of the world when I first hear the news that you wanted to break up. I thought of how am I suppose to get up again, it took me long enough the last time for an eight months relationship now we are talking about three years. I remember waking up before you, first thing i saw is you sleeping like a pig, although it is ugly but still I could waste time watching you sleep. I remember I would wake up early to wake you up and me going back to sleep again. You are the one I first talk to every morning and last person I talk to every night. I also remember how we wrestle on the bed with me being tortured so badly also not to mention those unintentional punch and kicks you gave me when you got too into the wrestling mode. It hurts but its still worth the laugh. I remember hearing you snore at night and also sleep talk, your mouth will be wide open and sometimes I try to close your mouth but forgetting that you breathe with your mouth when you sleep. I remember when you have nightmares I'm there to comfort you and give you that trademark bear hug. Also you remember me complaining to you that my arms are numb every morning? It is because you slept on my arms HAHA. I also use to hit on ur arms and thighs softly to see them wooble like jelly. I call them jelly arms and legs.

Till now I still couldn't believe I painted my face so horribly just to attend the Halloween party because I heard you were performing. I browse through those old pics and think that it was really amazing that I could get to know you even with that cheezy look. Haha I remember you dressed up like a wicked witch that night.That was how we started having our own world having so much fun, now its history. So you could still find them here in my museum.

Being with you was the happiest thing, but now that I'm back on track I believe there might be more, life can be better. It is true you are once everything, for eg: I thought we were going to get married. I've even thought of the budget for proposal ring and planned the whole proposal surprise just to hear the word "YES" or even just a nod. Imagine the surprise and joy that could bring to you, I'm sure you'll cry out of joy because you just love to cry like a baby even during movies in the cinema. Remember the wedding banquet we've imagine? Remember we used to plan trips together and also our honeymoon although non came true? There are so many plans ahead and I've totally forgotten about the present. So it was partially my fault to plan way too far ahead and trying to shower you with too much of my plan. I just thought it might be romantic and you would like it. However plans are plans in reality you prefer something different from what you had/have. I realised life is not how it seems, but there is more. Like how I started adding colours in my wardrobe and it is no longer white and black. Now there is blue, pink and green. Adding them just made the world more colourful. Aren't you happy, this is what you wanted for 3 years and I've never bothered to add in those colours because when I was with you, you are the colours in my life.

When we first went apart, I remember I plunged and sink into darkness. I begged for forgiveness although I didn't know what I did wrong but still I kept thinking if you wanted to call off it must be something wrong with me. I've always hope that we could solve things like how others did it, I thought it was normal to have ups and downs in relationship. I cried like a child. I also thought that everyone would deserve at least a chance to amend mistakes, but maybe not everyone deserve a chance because some people took more than one chance. How ironic isn't it? I loved you very much and I think at one point you did too and then it is out of the picture later on in our relationship. I don't blame others because I believe it is my fault that I can't change who you are. It is partially those guys fault and a little on your side. Oh well that is just life, we always look for more and never look at what we have already had. It is such great news to see you happily attached to your Mr. Right now a month after our break up. Although it was not officially told, even the blind could tell. Would like to of course take this wonderful opportunity to so call bless you couple. Maybe you could change your status on FB because I prefer my relatives in your FB list to at least know the truth, so I can save a lot of saliva explaining to them. It is just great that we were once spouse and I hope you had wonderful experience with me and enjoyed our journey be it happy or sad. I sincerely hope that you take good care and learn to pay more attention into details before making hasty decision.

We were like the most loving couple in our friends eye, do you remember? but yet behind it our tears could probably drown Noah's ark. Still it is fun to have some memories like how we had our water fight in the house back in TTS5, how I secretly learn to play "Your Call" by secondhand serenade to entertain you. You made me real fit those days because I have to piggy back you all the way from Jonker street to our car during our trip with fellow housemates. Our character might just be too far for each other, you are still young and you would like to explore your world. Its heartbreaking seeing you cry those times when I found out what you did behind me. I'm so mad but yet soft hearted when I see you apologizing with tears all over. Its so hard to admit mistakes but yet you did. This is the real courage training which you learned during the times with me. Don't you think it is worth more than attending those motivational courses?

Remember how we actually got our 1st cat? From then on you start loving cats as if they were your child, sometimes even ignoring me for the sake of the cat. We lost the 1st cat and you cried in my arms, unfortunately our second cat was lost soon after we broke up. Both of them were really nice. We watch them grew up. It wasn't such a bad thing afterall losing Mal because it was partially owned by both of us, now that you are with Mr. Right it isn't a good idea to keep a pet that recognize me as Daddy. I still remember how I influenced and encouraged you to keep your 1st pet because you never had a pet with fur due to asthma but hey look you had fun with the cat didn't you? We had so much trouble transporting it back to your home afraid that your parents might not allow the pet to stay.

Everything happens for a reason. I don't know your reason, I just agreed and respected your decision. Fairytale ain't true so life doesn't always end with happily ever after. With our great fight till Sept2009 we end our victorious relationship and surrendered the relationship. It isn't really three years because it didn't reached 3 years and the whole third year wasn't a story of you and me. I almost forget the important point is that I really appreciate all you've done from those cookies to those really short and sweet promises/messages or whatever you want to name it. It was really nice for that moment although none was true but I buy it that time. This also means that you are very good at convincing which you should really make good use of it (not abuse it).

Yea I hope you like those stuffs I made for you throughout the years. Sorry for being really stingy on you because I was saving for the above mentioned plan. I hope you like my last physical item gift for you which is the ZARA T from Singapore. I know you don't waste money on branded stuffs therefore I bought you that just so that you would have something branded to wear over the weekends when we go out. Who doesn't like branded stuff? It is just that when we are rational we don't spend on those goods because what makes a person beautiful is the character. I loved you the way you are but unfortunately barriers after barriers made us tired of solving things and puts a full stop to it. Hopefully after these miserable days the sun will shine on us and we both live our own happy life, you and your Mr. Right and I with my currently still unavailable partner.

I might not be in the happiest moment writing this because it brings back all the good and bad times but still its an achievement to write it out. Its time for you to think maturely and it is also a good practice to not use God as an excuse anymore. Always tell the truth and we won't need to worry finding excuses/reasons. We loved and we kicked asses in the past.

*note: guys that treats you good are not always a good guy, to make you understand it more I shall say bad guys would be a better good guy in disguise.

.:J-P!G:.
Haven't use this for ages.

We have a choice every day - to act on yesterday's good intentions or get an early start on tomorrow's regrets.